JAYSEN AND ADAM HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT SEBASTIAN BROKEN HEARTS BY PAUL NOSACH

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“That evening, Jaysen was working on his novel.  Even though he was civil towards Sebastian and Adam; it was Adam who came to his door.  Jaysen Stripe heard a faint knock on his door.  Looking up from his computer, he said, “Com in!” “Can I talk to you?” Adam had asked in a small voice, the defiance previously noted was all but faded.  Jaysen gestured to a seat opposite from him.  Adam took it, feeling very comfortable and relaxed.  Jaysen spotted this immediately, and thought something was different.  He turned off his computer screen, so he wouldn’t be distracted.  “What’s on your mind?” Clearly Adam didn’t know how to respond, or couldn’t find the words to describe what he wanted to talk about.  He just said, “You.” Jaysen leaned back into his chair.  “Okay!  What about me?” “Look, I know you’re gay –” Jaysen knew where this was going. “ – but why, why do you have to screw my uncle?” Jaysen held up a hand to silence the boy.  “First of all, I’m going to suspect you’re referring to a few nights ago?” “Yes.” “And second, I’m going to venture that was your uncle was intoxicated? And I seem to remember it was you who didn’t want to help me?”  It wasn’t a trick Jaysen was playing.  It was the bold truth.  “Well…” Adam’s voice trailed off.  He knew. “Okay,” Jaysen paused.  “Since you don’t know what happened after you went to your room, let he tell you.”  And Jaysen started to go into brief description of the nights’ events, leaving nothing out.  Just when he was about to finish off; Adam didn’t want to hear any more of it than the next person, but Jaysen told Adam to sit and listen.  Yes, he was going to listen to every detail, no matter how minute.  “Every since you stepped foot in this house, your Uncle’s house, you knew I was gay.  But only now – years later – you want to talk about it, and that night when I helped your uncle to bed, I had no idea he was playing me,” so far it had been the truth, from both sides of perspective. Adam looked up in shock.  “My uncle played you?” “Don’t look so stupefied,” Jaysen had seemed to alleviate to a calmer mood.  “Look, just because I’m gay, does not mean that all I want is sex.  I’m sure you know it doesn’t work that way.” Jaysen knew Adam was a smart kid; but with Adam Ludsgarden now in his twenties, today’s dating may appear different.  And for a moment, Adam looked to be put in his place and he looked apologetic.  His mouth opened to say sorry, but the words fell in the air. “Now – can we be friends again?” Jaysen asked. Adam nodded his head.  “Please don’t tell my uncle,” he paused.  “But I do want to ask you something,” his voice came across as curious, yet sheepish.  “Of course I won’t tell Sebastian.  This conversation never happened.  So what is it you wanted to ask me?” Adam seemed to hesitate.  “What’s it like?  I mean, being gay?” Jaysen thought the conversation as over, but there was this last explanation.  “Well,” he started, “it’s no different from any other lifestyle.”  He thought it was the safest way to tell Adam, without offending him or grossing him out.  “Are we on the same page?”  “Yeah,” Adam smiled, not giving the hint of what he’d done to a perfect stranger.  Adam had gone to bed that night, feeling somewhat relieved that Jaysen didn’t just pounce on Sebastian, and take advantage of him.  That would have been cruel and disgusting.  Adam thought if it happened that way, he’d have absolutely no respect for Jaysen Stripe at all.  Of course, if Uncle Sebastian were asking for it, which he was, could Adam really forgive him?  Adam was already hurting his reputation as a doctor.  Was that enough?  Could he hate his uncle for practically wanting Jaysen that night?  And was there room for forgiveness? He slept peacefully.”

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